Happiness & Desires

dhyāyato viṣayān puḿsaḥ sańgas teṣūpajāyate sańgāt sañjāyate kāmaḥ kāmāt krodho ‘bhijāyate	While contemplating the objects of the senses, a person develops attachment for them, and from such attachment lust develops, and from lust anger arises.
(SriMadbhagavad Gita 2.62)

It’s true that we all want to be happy. We are also ready to pay the price for the same. We are always eager to spend whatever we have to buy our happiness in whatever manner that it may be available to us. Whether in the form of a beautiful dress, a super gadget, a beautiful house or even fine evening with our friend or partner. But the point is, is it going to make us happy. You’ll say, YES it will and I AGREE, surely it will. But the question is what the price of happiness is for me? Because it can come for as cheap as 2 ice creams on the sea side or it can cost me a fortune for the bungalow in the hill.

I heard a story when I was very small. There was a boy, whose family was very wealthy. One day his father took him on a trip to the country, where he aimed to show his son, how poor people live. So they arrived to a farm of a very poor family, as he considered. They spent there several days. On their return, the father asked his son, did he like the trip.

“Oh, it was great, dad” – the boy replied. “Did you notice how poor people live?” “Yeah, I did“- said the boy. The father asked his son to tell in more details about his impressions from their trip.

“Well, we have only one dog, and they have four of them. In our garden there is a pool, while they have a river that has no end. We‘ve got expensive lanterns, but they have stars above their heads at night. We have the patio, and they have the whole horizon. We have only a small piece of land, while they have the endless fields. We buy food, but they grow it. We have high fence for protection of our property, and they don‘t need it, as their friends protect them.”

The father was stunned. He could not say a word.

Then the boy added: “Thank you, dad, for letting me see how poor we are.”

So we see that Happiness is a state of fulfilment of desires and the same will vary from person to person and from time to time. Therefore it is the desires which are important, it is what matters the most because the fulfilment of desires will result in happiness and being happy is what we ultimately crave for. It is very relative in its disposition and by virtue of this it has very less price and it is very priceless at the same time. The same thing which can make me very happy because I have a very strong desire for it may not be able to make you happy because you do not desire it. 

One thing which we are always made to understand ever since we are born is that we should not desire what we cannot afford. This thought in itself opposes the basic premise of life which is to grow. By the time we grow up we become so conditioned to this thought that we consider it a sin to desire what we can’t possibly have. What if it is not so sinful after all? Can we in some way train our desires to lead us to happiness? 

I wonder!

DON’T THINK; BE HAPPY

I read somewhere that we are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience. Rather we are Spiritual beings going through temporary human experience. For me it means that we were designed to be guided by our emotions and not by our thoughts. Our emotions were supposed be shaping our thoughts rather than the opposite of it. But ironically since the time we became a part of this spiritual – physical world we are trained to think before we do everything, even before we feel.

At School we are taught to think before we ask a question, and at home we are expected to think before we say anything. At play we are trained to think before we play and at party we should think before we party. Sounds familiar!! And in this whole mayhem of thinking we actually forget that thinking is not something we were designed to do inherently. No, No…. please do not get me wrong, I am not an advocate of impulsive and erratic behavior. That will create chaos. The point I am trying to make is that too much thinking inhibits the ability to do. What differentiates humans from other beings is not our ability to think but rather our ability to articulate our emotions. It is our emotions and our cognitive interpretation of them is what makes us so special. The more we are able to understand our emotions and act according to them the more successful we are. But before we are able to do so it is imperative to understand success also. Success is not what our friends or our parents or our society defines for us. No one has the right to decide what success is for me. It is only me who can decide. In my opinion and I may well be wrong, Success is what makes me feel happy, and content, and accomplished. So anything that will instill these emotions in me is success for me and likewise the activities that instill the opposite feelings are failures. 

From here I come to my initial statement where I said “Don’t Think”. Instead of keep thinking whether I should do this or not or do that or not, I should be able to feel whether doing this is going to make me feel happy or content or accomplished or any such positive emotions as we may paraphrase. 

You may say that this principle looks good in theory and it is easier said than done and I totally agree. It not easy for me either and I still cannot say whether I have been able to do this effortlessly. It does require effort and in spite of that I do miss the target many a times. Any art is mastered only through practice and the more you practice, the better you get. And on more than one occasion I have felt the immense power of this practice. When we say that we are the creators of our own destiny, it means that the law of universe follows the Belief ->  Behavior -> Destiny principle. To elaborate, our practiced emotions become our belief which in turn manifest in our behavior and finally shape our destiny. 

So the next time before you do anything, don’t think whether your family or your friends or the society or whether even you want to do it. Just observe and feel whether doing THE THING is going to make you feel good or going to make you feel bad and you will get your answer.

DON’T THINK; BE HAPPY.