Too often, we are so preoccupied with the destination, we forget the
journey.
Unknown
We will start this episode by
talking about Hedonic Adaptation. Hedonic adaptation refers to the notion that
after positive (or negative) events (i.e., something good or bad happening to
someone), and a subsequent increase in positive (or negative) feelings, people
return to a relatively stable, baseline level of affect (Diener, Lucas, &
Scollon, 2006).
No matter how miserable you
are feeling at the moment, if you look back, there have surely been events in
your life that have made you happy. Maybe the time you bought your first car or
the time you received that long-desired promotion. When good things happen, we
feel positive emotions—like excitement, relief, pride, and of course,
happiness. These feelings are essential for our well-being. But the problem is,
happiness doesn’t usually last.The excitement slowly wears off. This is because
the change begins to simply be seen as the “new normal.” And as a result, our aspiration level shifts.
Nobel-prize winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman has referred to this process
as a kind of “satisfaction treadmill.” Because we continuously shift our
standards upward once we’ve reached them, we’ve got to keep running in order to
feel satisfied again.
Therefore, when considering
what our dream life would be like, we must be aware of the fact that even when
we are really successful, we may quickly
adapt to what we have acquired and we will simply be wanting more.
Now the problem statement;
what therefore achieving genuine success means? Many people define success in terms of money or possessions. However, an
increasing amount of research makes it clear that most people don’t understand
the difference between what they think will make them happy and what
will actually make them happy.
Most people can be classified
into one of the below mentioned categories;
1.
People who
are miserable now and aren’t working towards anything positive in the future.
2.
People who
are miserable now but it will be worth it, because they are working hard
towards success in the future.
3.
People who
live for the moment and don’t mind that they aren’t building a firm foundation
for a positive future.
4.
People who
both enjoy their lives now and, through what they are doing, are building an
exciting future.
A young lady called Hannah
reminisces her story that her father
lived by the principle of ‘Keep working, it’s worth it because you will
build up a good pension and then you will be able to enjoy your retirement.’?
Then, one day, as her father was working hard and just six weeks away from his
well earned retirement, he died suddenly and without warning. Hannah asked
herself, ‘Should I just live for the moment? Maybe I should just forget about
my career or saving for the future and go to travel the world and experience
things and – to hell with being sensible!’.
If you are thinking this a little piece of warning, “The principle of
hedonic adaptation is sure to kick in and something that was pleasurable
will quickly lose its appeal. By living for the moment, are you limiting your
potential for good results in the future?
Psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar
explains that success is not a moment in time when you ‘arrive and are
happy’. True success is about enjoying the journey towards a destination
that you deem to be valuable. Therefore we advocate having your cake and eating
it. Goals can be a great way to find more success and fulfilment in your life.
But what is absolutely critical is that you pick goals where you get genuine
pleasure from working towards them, as well as from achieving them.
Lessons from PSYCHOLOGY OF SUCCESS (ALISON PRICE/ DAVID PRICE)
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