7 Signs you are lying to your self

As we grow up we develop our own definition of ethical and moral life. Lawrence Kolhberg’s six stages of moral development are testament to that. Each level symbolizes an individual becoming more moral and self aware. But when it comes to be true to yourself staying in line of your own values is only one part of the equation. What it means to stay true to your self is different is every one. So here are 7 signs that that show your aren’t true to yourself. They will help you fine tune your moral conduct.

1. You tend to copy others - when you copy others there is usually intent for doing so. Perhaps if they did, it landed them a new job or landed them in competitive program or even help the find their significant other. We want to recreate that same success for our self so we unconsciously follow in their footsteps. While there is nothing wrong in taking advice from others,   trying to blindly copy your friends or peers, strips you of your own individuality.

2. You are a people pleaser – You have a hard time saying “no”. You tend to take on more that you can handle for other people. If this sounds a bit like you, you might be a people pleaser. People pleaser have a gentle giving heart but real danger of this comes when someone takes advantage of your generosity. If you constantly put others before yourself and neglect your own well being in the process, you might not be being true to yourself.

3. You let yourself be defined by how others see you – Are you overtly worried about what others think of you. You follow along what others are doing because you are too afraid to go against the grain. You let yourself be defined by how others see you. When you fall in line with everyone else, you run the risk of sacrificing your own individuality. On a deeper level, you may give up on your own dreams and desires to appease the will of others and give in to the pressure of what you think you should be doing.

4. You attract drama into your life – When you are distracted by unnecessary drama, you are also distracted from yourself. By allowing chaos to swirl around you, you have to put your time and energy into putting out all the big and little fires. In fact you are also not putting in the time and energy into yourself which you need. When you attract drama into your life it becomes a distracting mechanism to deter you from more pressing matters which you should be attending to.

5. You give your power to someone else – You tend to let other people make decisions for you. Do you seek outside validation and external advice from others? You want them to tell, you are doing great. By doing this you avoid having to trust yourself. Because if you put your trust in someone else, you don’t really have to be responsible for what happens in your life. This dis-empowers you of the ability to take your own decisions and trust your own voice.

6. You procrastinate - Do you constantly put off small tasks? Are you waiting around to make that big career change you’ve been thinking around for a while? At the root of procrastination is the fear of failure and avoidance. There is no way you can be treating yourself if your are also avoiding yourself. If you’re stuck in hesitation, too afraid to move forward, you might be compromising with what is actually best for you.

7. You justify your actions – you find yourself justifying decisions which you once found questionable. Perhaps you justify your procrastination, your people pleasing ways or even the times you let other people take power from you. You are a priority and the decisions you should take are the ones which would keep you safest and happiest.

Do you relate to any of these signs? If so what do you plan to do next? Sometimes you can be your own worst critic and expect too much from yourself. We want to remind you that it is important to practice a little self-care and compassion for yourself.